Why Actually People Do Lie?

Lying is a common human behavior that has been studied extensively by psychologists. While some may view it as dishonesty or deceit, lying simply means not being truthful. According to Robert Feldman, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, lying is a prevalent social tactic because people generally expect to hear the truth from others, making it easier for liars to get away with their deception.\

1. Flattery: The Art of Deceit

Flattery is one of the most common forms of deceit. It involves exaggerating facts to insincerely praise someone. However, people are often skeptical of flattery because they recognize that it is not always genuine¹. When someone resorts to flattery, they may have ulterior motives, such as gaining favor, persuading others, or obtaining personal information. The insincerity of flattery undermines trust and can strain relationships.

2. Avoiding Awkwardness: The Desire to Fit In

Awkward situations can make people feel self-conscious and uncomfortable. In an attempt to avoid awkwardness, some individuals resort to lying. They may lie to appear knowledgeable in a conversation or to avoid disappointing others. Lying in such situations stems from a desire to be liked and accepted by others¹. However, lying to avoid awkwardness can lead to further complications and hinder genuine connections with others.

3. Manipulation: Lying to Get What You Want

One of the primary reasons people lie is to manipulate others into doing what they want. This can be seen in various contexts, such as salespeople exaggerating the benefits of a product to persuade customers to make a purchase¹. By distorting the truth, individuals attempt to influence the decisions and actions of others. While this tactic may be effective in the short term, it erodes trust and damages relationships in the long run.

4. Self-Protection: Shielding Yourself and Others

Lying can be a means of self-protection or protection of others. People may lie to shield themselves from negative consequences or to protect someone they care about. For instance, a child may lie about breaking a glass to avoid punishment, or an older sibling may lie to protect their younger sibling from getting into trouble¹. While lying in these situations may seem justified, it can create a cycle of deception and compromise trust within relationships.

5. Personal Gain: Lying for Success

Some individuals resort to lying to achieve personal gain. This can be observed in situations like embellishing one’s experience on a resume or in a job interview. By overstating qualifications, individuals hope to increase their chances of getting hired or advancing their careers¹. Similarly, people may lie to help others succeed, such as exaggerating a friend’s skills and qualities during a job recommendation. However, these lies can have severe consequences if discovered, leading to damaged reputations and strained professional relationships.

6. Social Desirability: The Urge to Impress

The desire to be liked, admired, and seen in a favorable light often leads people to lie. This phenomenon, known as social desirability, involves presenting oneself in a more positive manner¹. Whether it’s exaggerating one’s achievements or downplaying flaws, individuals may resort to lying to create a favorable impression. However, such deception undermines authentic connections and prevents genuine understanding between individuals.

7. The Snowball Effect: Lies Beget Lies

As the saying goes, “If you lie about something small initially, you sometimes have to lie in bigger and bigger ways.” Lies have a snowball effect, requiring more lies to maintain the facade¹. The cognitive effort involved in keeping up with a web of lies can be exhausting and challenging. This phenomenon is evident in various forms of media, where lies often lead to a series of increasingly complex deceptions. Ultimately, the question arises: is the effort of avoiding the truth worth the trouble?

In conclusion, lying is a multifaceted behavior shaped by various motivations and circumstances. From flattery and manipulation to self-protection and personal gain, the reasons behind lying are diverse and complex. While lying may offer short-term benefits, it erodes trust, strains relationships, and can lead to detrimental consequences in the long run. Understanding the underlying motives behind lying can help us navigate interpersonal relationships with greater empathy, honesty, and integrity.

Reference , https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/199705/why-do-people-lie ↩ ↩² ↩³ ↩⁴ ↩⁵ ↩⁶ ↩⁷ ↩⁸